Resistance

Lately I’ve been feeling overextended. So much has weighed heavy on my mind—death and grieving, health worries for myself and others, and an uptick in work deadlines. I saw myself getting more and more rattled by the day. I was relying on my age-old grit to help me “push through this” even after I noticed the edge creeping in and the racing thoughts and muscle tension. 

I felt such resistance to taking a break. I kept staring down my to-do list and calendar and thinking “this looks bonkers.” And the whole time I was waiting for it to get worse before I did anything about it. 

After my second or third crying sesh, I knew I had to listen and actually take care of myself. I wiped the tears, sat at my computer, and plugged in some dates to the timecard portal. I labeled three Fridays in a row as “mental health days.” 

And wowza. What a sense of relief that flooded my system. The simple act of requesting time for myself brought so much comfort. I didn’t even know how I was going to fill those days. I just knew that for my well being: I needed a break. 

Self care and self compassion seem a little buzzy right now. And you’ll see these words splashed across my own website. So I just wanted to get real with y’all about how difficult these practices can be. Self-care and Self-compassion require accountability. And accountability with the self is one of the trickiest things to master. Our brains are super good at gymnastics and coming up with excuses. 

I’ve been thinking about this quote a lot: 

“That’s exactly how it is in yoga. The places where you have the most resistance are actually the places that are going to be the areas of the greatest liberation.” — Rodney Yee

The funny thing is, after returning to work after my second mental health Friday, I heard how much more relaxed I looked. And I could feel it too. Stress can get stuck in our bodies and it can show up in alllll sorts of ways. Consider this a gentle reminder that you don’t have to wait til your mental health is in the gutter to take time off. 

I hope you know—you deserve a rest.